Whacking the Snake
by Sam Pagan
Summary: Severus tries to do something special for Ginny, but his less-than-perfect efforts and lack of 'experience' make her turn away in disgust and anger. Slightly AU, written pre-book 5.


Dedicated To Lexi, who says there aren't enough Ginny/Severus fics out there.

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A clamber rose within the dungeon walls as one Ginny Weasley threw open a heavy oak door and stomped out, disgust and shock written on her lightly freckled face.

"I cannot _believe_ you!" She shouted at the wall in front of her, but really she was addressing the tall man who was now taking large strides to try and explain himself.

"If you would only let me apologize, _Ginevra_." He ran his long fingers through his thick hair, the stress slowly building from the situation he found himself in, and thus, his hair becoming slightly more greasy. It was the bane of his existence, really.

"I don't _want_ your apology, Severus. How could you NOT know how-"

"I told you I wasn't that experienced in these sort of things!" He shot back defensively before she could finish her sentence. Merlin, women were merciless.

Her hair whipped about her face as she whirled around to face her lover of one and a half years. Things were slow going between them, but having graduated from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the five summers following gave them more time to, how do they say, "get to know each other."

"How couldn't you? I'd expect a man of your age would have at least *some* experience in this."

"Well pardon me for not being as socially ept as you are and not being able to learn of these things through vicarious experience, and my age has nothing to do with it. If you didn't realize, my life up until now didn't have much time between being a Death Eater, a double-spy, and a professor for this sort of thing." It was true, too. Work-related stress wasn't just within the Muggle world, he felt it every corner he turned. It seemed like wherever he was, he was always on thin ice with somebody. Did she really expect him to find the time for relaxation and entertainment between his death-defying and teaching a bunch of dunderheads?

"Don't give me _that _excuse. That's your universal answer for everything." She put her hands to her face in mocking fashion, and said in an overly dramatic voice,

"'I'm so miserable and lonely, being in Howarts is so lonesome and miserable. No one could ever care for me because I'm miserable and lonely.'"

"I don't sound like that!...Do I?" Honestly, the repetition of the words was a little too much, in his opinion. Ginny glared at him. "Alright alright, but you really don't know-"

"-the things that you've seen and done. Yes, I've heard. But that's no excuse for this! A house elf could do better than you did!"

His face flushed with mixed embarrassment and anger, he started to sputter, "You... No... You cannot possibly be serious!"

"I am!" She stomped towards him, until their toes were within five inches of each other, leaning up and forward to look up at him "In fact, I should call Dobby here right now. Maybe even Winky, too!" Okay, Now she was going a little too far for his liking.

"Damnit woman! This is preposterous! How was I to know you wouldn't like it?"

She drew away from him and moved to the still open door, pointing an accusing finger at something inside the room,

"The LAST thing I want to see at my birthday party is a giant snake! I don't care if it's a damned pi ata, it is _not _amusing! In case you forgot, my first year at Hogwarts was nothing but a traumatizing event that included your high school chum and his pet _basilisk_." Her face was splotched with red, her cute button nose scrunched up in disgust at Severus' attempt at redecorating the chamber they shared in his dungeon flat within Hogwarts.

Severus crossed his arms in a stubborn huff, and a slight detection of a pout, "I wasn't intentionally meaning to scare you, Ginny, you know that. I was just trying to make it enjoyable, I can't help that my mind was too occupied to realize the obvious until it was too late. I am susceptive of making mistakes every once and a while." He decided not to bring up the fact that Tom Riddle had not actually been a student at the school of magic at the same time as him, let alone was he a 'chum'. If anything, he who was now the Dark Lord was far from being anything remotely like a friend to Severus.

The pout intensified as much as was possible for a usually stoic man as he, and Ginny was weak against it; like werewolves to silver. She took a deep breath and dropped her shoulders,

"I'm sorry, Severus. I know you didn't mean any harm, I was just in shock at seeing a large snake floating around the room."

Disarming the ever-successful pout, he lowered his arms and moved towards her and drew her into his arms tightly, feeling her heart beat against his chest. He stroked her soft red hair, kissing her crown.

"No, I am sorry. I should have payed more attention, it will never happen again."

She wrapped her arms around him, her palms against his back to hold him closer to her. It nearly scared her half to death, and her first reaction to fear was to lash out in anger. A soft thud issued from the room, and they both looked over to see the floating snake pi ata had bumped into the top frame of the door, hissing in a high raspy voice,"Whack me!"

They both laughed suddenly, and with a light swipe of her hand Ginny sent the pi ata spinning across the room to bump into a lamp and announce it's proposition once more, "Whack me!"

Ginny laughed again and looked up at Severus, eyeing a suspicious smirk on his face and arching a brow,

"So how about it, my fiery tart, care to whack a snake?" He winked suggestively.

She grinned widely, her cheeks flourishing red at his insinuation, "I'm sure I could give it a try... or two."

With no hesitation, he scooped her up into her arms and strode towards the bedroom. Ginny giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him deeply and shutting the door behind them with her foot.


End file.
